chatted with kris 3days ago.
actually is cry out to him.
sis found my phone and blah blah blah.
confiscated my i/c as well.
=.=
who can be as lame as her?
kris' "i'm really tired" really made me wake up from my dreamland.
YES! he's tired of me and my nonsense.
so, i've made up my mind to STOP seeing him and everyone else.

i'm really happy there's still friends who support me in things i do.
even though i neglected them for like forever.
they nv give up hopes tt one fine day i will go back to them and have fun.
now, they do not need to wait anymore!

2days ago, i called kris up and told him straight tt since he's tired and evrything, i must as well scram myself.
and me being silly, actually tot he will call me back and ask me what happened.
but of course it did not happen.

and he indirectly told me tt he will not fall for relationship at this moment.
he was being stupid can.

maybe like wat calene said, i should just give up on himand think/do things which are possible and not always daydreaming about the impossibles.

i really had fun studying w her can. we gossiped like mad and stuff. of course we gossiped about the same person whom we HATE!

i love it!

tt person must be sneezing like hell when we talked about her! and i nv tot tt she is such a "low-class" person can! EWWWKS!

anyway i hate her luhh! she's full of shit!~

ok anyway, i've made upp my mind and may not change it.
I WILL NOT GO BACK TO CHURCH ANYMORE!
unless...............................

anw, anything which stumbles me will be like a dumbbell. it will bring me all the way down to the seabed. but at the same time my dumbbell is easily broken. one factor will just break the whole dumbbell and i'm back on the right track again.

if u understand this, u will know what i mean.

goodbyesss.

i thank God for HOGC.
i thank God for bible.
i thank God for the life i'm leading now.
i thank God for all my nice and caring friends.
i thank God for my WIIDE crcle of friends.
i thank God for my cca.
i thank God for my eyes.
i thank God for my heart.
i thank God for my ears.
i thank God for my mouth.
i thank God for my limbs.
i thank God for my organs.
i thank God for loving me even though i'm useless.
i thank God for not giving up onme.
i thank God for listening to me.
i thank God for speaking to me.
i thank God for my school.
i thank God for my money.
i thank God for my cousins.
i thank God for my aunties and uncles.
i thank God for for my family.
i thank God for computers.
i thank God for time.
i thank God for love.
i thank God for food.
i thank God for water.
i thank God for bed.
i thank God for pillows.
i thank God for blankets.
i thank God for sweets.
i thank God for shoes.
i thank God for skinny jeans.
i thank God for shirts.
i thank God for my kitchen.
i thank God for bird nest.
last, i thank God for letting me meet him.

I THANK GOD FOR EVERYTHING!
i love you LORD!
you're the best!

went study in church w Ly tday.
yes. this is the first time i really studied.
proud of me? well, i am.
cant find my class pbwiki page! >.<
read sherlyn's blog and the tag kris left was surrounding me!
devil!
but still, they seem to be so, close.
closer than me and him.
illusions? hope so.
jealousy is rising in me. higher and higher.
the news of her and Ly not gg tmr really make me SCREAM for JOY!
like finally i can spend time w him, quietly w/o distractions.
how to explain such joy?
sometimes i really wonder, what keeps me gg?
God factor w his factor?
i'm sure there's 20% of his factor which keeps me gg.
i love the way he talks to me.
with the most serious looking eyes ever. you'll melt when u sees them, i promise!
being such a LOOOONG time since i last seen him and talked to him.
i miss him.
tmr's the day i'll see him. for lunch service and everything.
i wna sit beside him again, and feel the uneasiness whenever he getsn too close.
i miss tt feeling!
tt uneasiness.
it rocks!

can i have tt feeling more often? please.
Ly tday really leave me w a super BIG question mark!
i feel the siaoness in her alr.

anyway, i know God has a PERFEECT plan for my future.
He will give us what we desire the most.
i am strongly convinced tt my God, is the BEST GOD EVER!

shall sleep early tonight.

i dono why but i'm really jealous whenever his sheep get so close tohim.
like they will eat him up.
and esp. when he seem to care for me so much but dont dare to let anyone know.
this make me feel like knocking some sense to him.
like please, either u really cared for me or you dont at all.
if caring for me will result in some unfortunate events,
dont even bother to care for me in the first place can.
you're hurting me indirectly.
but i also don wan you to ignore me.
i want u to continue caring for me telling me how much ppl treasure me and love me
and knocking some sense into my head when you know i''m gg haywire.

i love to talk to you so much but
whenever i called u and u answered with the not bothered voice,
i felt so hurt inside. like you're not bothered about me anymore.

i just pray for the better to come.

ALOHA to my private blog! =]
i shall safely blog about ALL my feelings here!
everything shall be kept in this page.
any readers please do not leak out ANYTHING from here.
i appreciate that. thank you.

i shall start off simply with my complicated life.
i'm a typical playful singapore school girl who is graduating from high school this year.
from a well-off family which most of my friends are envy of,
but seriously there's nothing much!
not my money anyway.
became a fool for love on september2006.
not tthe typical love at first sight, but is the typical waiting.
love the way i live but hate my life.
i miss my beloved dog which passed away last november.
results getting from bad to worse.
major exams coming yet i'm still slacking.
teachers hate me for my rude attitudes.
but i'm a nice girl.=]

what else?

i love kris alot!
and i really mean it.
i didnt fall for any other guy except him.

wondered how he felt for me.
he cared for me, show me how much he's worried about me but never show me tt he love me.

i'd done lots of small actions to be more close to him.
did he realise?
maybe after his vow to God at 21yrs-old has end, he will come to me and tell me how much he loved me?

i love God too.
and being the followers of God, i'm aware of what i'm doing is terribly wrong.
but what else i can do?

rejected Denon and Kenny because i know i will only love Kris.
did not regret what i did.
but will he made me regret liking him, loving him?

i love him